Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Someday"...should be TODAY!

As a little boy, I couldn't wait to be older, to then be able to do great things!  Always a thing that "tomorrow" holds and "someday" I'll get there.  I wonder how much we still do that as adults..?.. "Someday I'll make enough money to take that trip."..."Someday I'll go help people and give back."..."Someday I'll reconnect with those that have become estranged."..."Someday I will [this or that...fill in the blank yourself]."...  Always a someday attitude about some off in the distance thing, that somehow never comes closer than the occasional day dream.

"Years know things that days never knew."  -  Gordon C. Peters

Days make up months, and months make up years... On a day to day basis, it is difficult to see the larger picture of where our days are leading us.  However, if you were to take a step back, and look at things over the last 5 - 10 years, we can see of pattern of success and new heights, a path of failures, or (for most) a path of "very much the same"... Something that is interesting to experiment with, is to take an inventory of your daily lives.  Sit down and map out your average day.  The major things that happen on a daily basis for you. 

Ex:  Wake up, rush out the door, face traffic on your way to work, show up on time, do what you're told all day, leave and face traffic and run a few errands on the way home, maybe get a nourishing meal, turn on the tube, turn off your brain, and fall asleep...  All to wake and do it again the next day.  (I have just explained many peoples' lives)  Now HOPEFULLY,.. what you've spent your time doing all day (at work) is your life's passion and what you love!...yet for many it isn't. 

Now on another sheet of paper, write down what you've always wanted to do.  Perhaps go bigger than that and write what your life's mission is.  What is your life's purpose while here on earth...?

...and finally compare the two against each other... Compare what your daily life looks like, to your overall life's goal(s)... Is there ANY part of your average day that contributes toward your life's goal(s)?!?  Do you take ANY time whatsoever to better yourself as a person?  Is there ANY part of your day where you try to expand your mind? or fill your day full of positive thoughts, words, or actions?  Where is your day to day life leading you?... Higher ground?... Mediocrity?... Are your best days ahead of you, or behind you...? 

Interesting to step back and take an inventory of our daily lives.  This is YOUR LIFE, and this is YOUR TIME!  What are you doing with it?!?  Hopefully we can all learn something from taking a look at ourselves, look in the mirror, and if we don't like what we see...  Do Not blame anyone else, but take full responsibility for your life, and change.  DO better!  BE better!  Employ better habits, and hold yourself accountable. 

I believe we are to experience joy, and learn to LOVE our lives!  Our lives are OURS' to create!  Is life happening to you?  or are you happening to it?  Are you being pushed around and go with whatever whim that comes along?  or do you produce and create that which YOU want? 

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments below!
-  Matthew Reese

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Point of no return?

I believe that people change, and are almost even a new person every 4-5 years.  Life's experiences and people that come in and out of our lives, have an impact on us,.. and we evolve and change as we go.  Is there a point, where things have shifted so much, that things will never be the same between two people? 
I truly invite your comments!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

LOVE them into the shift you wish to see!

'Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have"... 

That was a quote I heard a few months ago, and it has stuck with me.  It's interesting as we hear things that we need to hear, they resonate because of where we are in our lives at the time.  I was going through some things and was reminded that we all love in our own ways, with our own flare and flavor.  Due to so many things in our past...experiences, how those who raised us showed (or didn't show) us love, movies that we watch, songs that we listen to, and relationships that we've had.  How can all of those completely different backgrounds and paths we've all walked, produce the same perception of what Love is, and what Love is not?  It's impossible!!  ...and then there' Hollywood's version of what love is and is not.  Doesn't it change depending on what movie we are watching?

You see all these quotes that come though social media posted by those around us... "To love someone fully, is to 100% accept them, imperfections and all!"...we hear that, nod our heads and agree, and some even "LIKE" the comment, but then return to our own relationships with a bag of complaints,  and have a problem with the way someone loves (or doesn't) us.

If a person is complaining and fighting me all day about what I'm not doing or not being.., and I rarely (if ever) hear what is wonderful about me, or thanked for that which I am...  NOBODY wants to be around that!  Consequently, I (personally) tend to not want to give at all, and I (personally) tend to withdraw and therefore give less and less;.. or I tend to give resentfully, because that which is being given, isn't received in the space of gratitude, and "never enough". 

When do couples cross that destructive point where they go from..."thank you for _____"! to "why haven't, or didn't, you _____"?  That point that a couple crosses where it's no longer ok to love a certain way, but it turns into "...you are not meeting my needs, so love me the way I want to be loved."  The destructive bridge that I'm referencing is when the light of gratitude goes away, and the world of expectation enters... "Thank you for calling"...  to "Why haven't you called"?

Remember... "That which receives energy grows!"

Once you focus on what it is NOT, instead of what it IS... THAT is the beginning of the end!

Of course there's nothing wrong with wanting to better your relationship, and discuss what improvements could be made...but it MUST be done in the right way.  Try beginning those discussions with gratitude.  Thankful hearts for what the other IS, and then discuss what improvements could be made.  This requires a level head and a conscious effort to not react, but to graciously discuss ways to take your relationship to new heights.  Knowing that I (personally) am loved for that which I AM, makes me want to be and give so much more!

If you love someone...don't try to change them!!..  Love and accept them for who they are, what they want, and the way they love you.  Be grateful!  They should show you the same in return! ... yet if you want to see change in your relationship (there is a difference between trying to change someone and trying to change your relationship with them) ...  LOVE them into the shift you wish to see!  DON'T try to fight them into that shift... You will only be met with resistance. 

We all love in different ways...and just because it's different than they way you do things, doesn't mean it's wrong, it means it's just different...and THAT"S OK!

I invite your thoughts...

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